80's Ninja Movies Retrospective Part 2: I'm Afraid of American Ninjas

Oh the greatness begins again. Here it am. Here it am. Part 2 bitches. It's Dudikoff time kids!

AMERICAN NINJA (1985)

The mid 80's brought us a new series of Cannon Studio Ninja flicks starting with American Ninja in 1985 starring Michael Dudikoff as American solider Joe Armstrong stationed in the Philippines. It must have been dirt cheap to film in the Philippines in the 80's, because almost every Ninja movie Cannon made seems to take place there at some point. And I guess "Philippine Ninja" does not have the ring to it that "American Ninja" does. Dudikoff plays this fresh faced Private whose truck convoy is hijacked by Evil Mercs while carrying the Colonel's hot daughter. She is played by Judie Aronson of Weird Science and Friday the 13th:The Final Chapter fame. She flees and Dudikoff takes out 25 armed dudes with his fists and sticks. Joe and Girl have a skinny dipping incident on the way back to the base and fall in puppy love.

Several army men in the convoy got killed during the Dudikoff massacre so Joe is in trouble now and as a result gets into a fight with genius B-movie legend, Steve James. After Dudikoff kicks James' ass to earn his respect, they team up to form a deadly duo of martial arts skillz and an acting tour de force. Along the way we flashback to Dudikoff's training on a remote Island with a great Ninja master. Joe claims to have amnesia and only remembers in flashbacks to his Ninja training.



The first AN is pretty standard action fare. Missing is the insanity of the Enter the Ninja trilogy. It's basically Dudikoff sees trouble, and he resolves it. It is not until the very end that he dons the Black Ninja outfit and fights side by side with his Master. The one odd thing about these AN movies is the main baddie Ninja is never Japanese. In this one he wears eyeliner and appears to be a Filipino. This is not my favorite in the AN series. There is some humor in this one but not amped up to the level of part 2. Dudikoff's acting makes Chuck Norris look like Brando, but he gets by just fine on his stoic looks and ninjitsu skill. Steve James is the best in this one. He looks like he is having fun and he is. All the baddies are stock cardboard cutouts. And that trend continues through all four films...

This one is directed by Sam Firstenberg who did Revenge of the Ninja and Ninja III. The Ninja action is a little better here, although a lot of it is basic fighting. Nothing uber fancy and cool. No Ninja III magic to be found here. I give this American Ninja two Steve James biceps and half a blow dart.





AMERICAN NINJA 2: THE CONFRONTATION (1987)

Ah now this one is my personal favorite of the AN Quadrilogy. Dudikoff and James return as Joe and Jackson. Here is the plot down: On a remote Caribbean island, Army Ranger Joe Armstrong saves an old friend from the clutches of "The Lion", an evil super-criminal who has kidnapped a local scientist and mass-produced an army of mutant Ninja warriors.

Now that's more like it folks! Throw in some more bad acting and an annoying little kid sidekick named Toto and bingo instant Ninja greatness. Once on the island Joe and Jackson begin kicking ass immediately. This time Steve James character has bulked up to twice his normal size and since the first movie has been trained to be an African-American Ninja it seems. These Ninja go down with a simple tap to the head. The main bad Ninja has a scar on one eye so you can tell him apart from the spare Ninjas. He resembles one of the extras from The Wild Bunch.



The biggest difference in this movie is the humor. Steve James really hams it up while Dudikoff plays the straight man of course. The chemistry between the two is much better this time out. They both seem to be having fun despite the paper thin plot that more or less takes Dudikoff from one confrontation to the next. Hence the title... The funniest thing in this one is how Steve James will start fighting someone and all of a sudden his shirt is ripped off so he can show off his new cut muscles. It happens every fight. I thought about timing how long it took for his shirt to get ripped off. At one point he fights in his army suit and the bad guys pull his sleeves off!

They travel to this Enter the Dragon-esque island where a scientist who almost cured cancer was taken hostage by "The Lion" an evil drug dealer to make Super Mutant Ninjas out of kidnapped US Soldiers to protect his drug empire. Now wouldn't it make more sense to go ahead and get that cancer cure down before the Super Ninja thing? I think the cure for cancer might sell better than Super Ninja bodyguards. But what do I know. So Dudikoff and James show up and fight the army of Super ninjas, then take out the Lion. Now the Lion looks like a LA guy that may have guest starred on CHIPS or The Love Boat in the 70's. The Super Ninjas come in two flavors here, red and black. The music score is by George S. Clinton and is great 80's action synth music. I saw this when I was 15 or so on video and I loved every horrible minute of it. This is my favorite Cannon Ninja movie. I actually really loved Dudikoff and James in these retarded movies. There are more Ninjas in this movie than you can count. It's like they grow on trees. And I guess they do, because they are growing them in the cancer lab in tubes. The best line is, "Ahh, The American Ninja I presume?, How very nice to meet you." How returning director Firstenberg never won the Oscar is beyond me.

I give this one my highest Ninja rating of 4 throwing stars with poison tips. Check out this great review I found on YouTube. This guy hits it on the head.





AMERICAN NINJA 3: BLOOD HUNT (1989)

Oh my, it can't be true could it? An American Ninja flick without Dudikoff? Yes it happened, but there is a silver lining here. In 89 we got the straight to video, American Ninja 3 with a new white boy Ninja, David Bradley, a real life martial artist. This is Bradley's first movie and it shows in his limited performance. However, he is very likable. Thankfully Steve James agreed to return, and he is back in fine form as Jackson, the African-American Ninja. He and Bradley have decent chemistry, but they throw in this annoying sidekick character who almost ruins the movie single handed.

The plot is that Bradley's dad is shot and killed when he is a child at a martial arts contest by some baddies. A master Asian dude rescues him from the bad guys that killed his Da and trains him to be a Ninja. Flash forward years later, where Bradley meets Jackson at a martial arts tournament they have entered. There is a reference to Dudikoff during a fight scene, where Jackson says "I thought I left Ninja's behind in the army where I left Joe" So fear not, it appears our country is still being protected by the Ninjas by Dudikoff. Some funny things of note in this movie are the outfits worn by Bradley. In the first big Ninja fight Bradley takes on numerous Ninja in acid wash jeans and jean jacket with white Nike shoes. Now back in the day I thought that looked bad ass. With some retrospect, not so much. In this movie we are introduced to the new Blue ninjas. These guys look very similar to Cobra Commander from GI Joe. And no joke, the bad guy is named The Cobra...hmm.



There is one fight scene I believe may be a first... An underwater Ninja fight! Yes, you read correct. Ninjas punching each other underwater. This is a much cheaper movie (if that is even possible) than the first two AN movies. It looks like it was filmed in some third world country shanty town. The bad guy is again using a scientist to develop a Super Ninja and trying to poison everyones blood or some shit like that. The "Cobra" looks Patrick Duffy with a bit of Larry Bird thrown in. Very odd casting choice. He looks like he sells carpet. Bradley is drawn to yet another isolated Super Ninja factory to seek his kidnapped master. Once there he discovers it's a hoax and is imprisoned with a female ninja. She escapes and enlists Jackson to help her bust him out. (Oh and yes Jackson gets shirtless in EVERY fight scene again) To his credit, Bradley's martial arts skills are much better than Dudikoff's. You can actually see him doing some decent moves here and there.

Some lines to look out for are when a local cop gets in Steve James face and James tells him, "You're breathing my air". The music score here is still from George S. Clinton and most of it is from AN2, with a few new cues thrown in. The director of AN3 is Cedric Sundstorm who would continue with AN4. I remember liking this when it came out and it indeed has some great AN moments and I give it props for keeping the series alive. It's a little more serious than the last one, which is bad cause it robs James of some good lines. He does call the female Ninja, a Ninjette. Sadly this was the end of the line for Jackson's character in the AN series. James passed away from prostate Cancer at the age of 41 in 1993. This guy was so huge and fit, it just reminds you that we are all human and can leave this Ninja infested life at any moment. I'm sure that much like in the AN movies, Steve went down fighting. He made several other films before he passed away including I'm Gonna Git you Sucka, The Player, and Weekend at Bernies 2. Peace out to you brother Jackson...

I give American Ninja 3 a low two poisonous darts to the eyes. Enjoy this scene of the Ninjette as she takes her mask off...






AMERICAN NINJA 4: THE ANNIHILATION (1990)
Went to see this with my hommie, Tony Cardenas at the Ridgmar General Cinema in the summer of '90. You would think that someone going to see this in 1990 could not possibly graduate from a respectable University seven years later, but it happened. We were highly anticipating this movie because it brought both American Ninjas to the screen for the cost of one movie! How could it go wrong? If the subtitle is The Annihilation could it mean that both American Ninjas could wipe out the entire Ninja race? Bringing AN3 director Sundstorm back was the first problem here. The other was no Steve James and without James these movies have no humor and without that it's a bad day in Hazzard. So let's get into it shall we...



In this one Bradley is captured yet again like in the last movie by Ninja terrorists while trying to rescue some Delta Force gents sent to find a nuke to blow up NYC. (I am beginning to question his Ninja creditentals at this point when he gets captured in every movie) Right at the get go, you can tell this movie has a much larger budget with which to work from. There are steadicam shots, tracking shots, and all sorts of crane shots not seen before in a AN movie. Cannon probably had theatrical deals in place if they could team up the two AN stars together, much like Star Trek with Kirk and Picard. (OK, that may be a stretch) So when the new American Ninja is down who do you call? The original American Ninja who like in the last Rambo film is in the Peace Corps, living a quiet reflective Ninja life teaching poor children. However this time the stakes are higher, we are talking big bombs terrorist style, NYC. So look out Bin Laden. Fuck Stallone, Norris, and Van Damme. It's Dudikoff time beotch!

Things that popped out to me as weird: When parachuting from a plane into a jungle is it normal to wear a Members Only leather jacket? I guess you need to look cool on the ground when your jean jacket from part 3 is in the wash. Is it in the Cannon rule book that every AN movie has to have a young annoying sidekick in tow? At least this time his name is not Tito. We are introduced to the Yellow Ninja in this one, and the Red, Blue and Black all come out to play again. The bad guy carries a whip around and looks like your local child molesting Uncle who lives in the abandoned house on the corner. Dialog watch from bad guy: "Lick my boots, you fool!" Another gem from Dudikoff teaching kids in the peace corp: "Ok kids, go outside and find something from the environment and bring it back in and we will discuss it." Huh? Teach those kids how to beat the F out of a Ninja dude! And apparently only the White Ninjas are allowed to carry nuclear bombs.



Now let's talk about the "annihilation" and the Ninja battle to end all Ninja battles. Right before the big battle, Dudikoff teams up with a Beyond Thunderdome-esqe biker gang to help deal with the Ninjas. One scene has Dudikoff dressed as priest as he subdues a Nazi with a Star Trek Vulcan neck pinch. Also of interest is that instead of changing costumes in a phone booth like Superman, the American Ninja changes in a dirt ditch in less time. Dudikoff infiltrates the dungeon where Bradley is being held hostage and discovers that he has been brainwashed to fight Dudikoff so that the audience can see the great American Ninja face-off. This is a very sad scene because we want the American Ninjas to kick ass together, when Dudikoff kills Bradley, we discover that like in Part 3 some Ninjas wear masks, and some of those masks look identical to actor David Bradley. David is actually outside chilling about to be burned to death at the stake. Then boom Dudikoff appears and lays down some wicked smoke bombs and frees American Ninja Bradley setting in motion the Ninja fight to end all Ninja fights. but sadly it's a let down. Team Yellow, Blue, Red, and Black all take turns getting their asses collectively kicked by the AN's. Then the Thunderdome Biker Gang shows up to clean up the rest.



The bad thing about this movie is that it's too big for it's britches. I mean I admire the scope of it. They spent some money on this one for sure, but in all the cool shots and lighting they pull off, they forgot the basics. Ninjas. There is way too much plot and talking and not enough Ninja love fighting before the finale. In AN2 Ninjas where all over the place. If you went to the bathroom at a cafe, chances are there would have been a Ninja in stall number three. In AN4 you would be able to urinate in peace while discussing the environment. All in all I would have to give this one only 2 and half fire arrows.



There is an American Ninja 5 with just David Bradley going solo. This one has NADA to do with the series here. It's a bad David Bradley movie with Pat Morita that sucked so bad the only way to get it released was to call it AN5. I have seen it, and I don't remember liking a single frame of it. I don't actually like to admit it exists. If you are in the need of a Dudikoff/James team-up they did another movie together called Avenging Force and it's actually pretty good from what I can remember. If memory serves, it's a take on The Most Dangerous Game in a swamp.

So that's it for the American Ninja Quadrilogy. I had a blast watching these again. Yes, they are not the greatest, but as a kid they were a dream come true. As a kid it made you think maybe someday you could be the American Ninja. So as I stalked my hood looking for bad people thinking I was a Ninja, these movies gave me some hope!


As a treat I did some searching and found Michael Dudikoff's email addy. If you would like to email the American Ninja himself you can do so by clicking HERE! I'm sure Michael would appreciate the fan mail. According to his site which I found HERE he will sign photos of himself if you send a SASE to him. I will be doing this soon as i have an original press kit for AN2. I know, I know, I am a geek. (and I blog)

Once

I really have not had a chance to talk much about this little movie that could. (and did) The movie is called "Once" and if you have not seen it, you should. It's one of the most refreshing films in a long time. Here is the plot line courtesy of IMDB:

An (unnamed) Guy is a Dublin guitarist/singer-songwriter who makes a living by fixing vacuum cleaners in his Dad's Hoover repair shop by day, and singing and playing for money on the Dublin streets by night. An (unnamed) Girl is a Czech who plays piano when she gets a chance, and does odd jobs by day and takes care of her mom and her daughter by night. Guy meets Girl, and they get to know each other as the Girl helps the Guy to put together a demo disc that he can take to London in hope of landing a music contract. During the same several day period, the Guy and the Girl work through their past loves, and reveal their budding love for one another, through their songs.



The big star of this movie is really the feelings these characters have, and the drive they have for something they believe in no matter what the odds might be. The music is really great and my favorite song of the year, Falling Slowly actually won the Oscar this year for best song. I don't think that will ever happen again in my lifetime. This movie is about as low budget as you can get, but the great thing is, you don't care after a while. It's filmmaking in its purest form. PLEASE GO GET THIS FILM!!!!! Ive enclosed some clips of the trailer and a really moving acceptance speech by them at the Oscars.

80's Ninja Movies Retrospective Part 1: Enter the Revenge of the Domination

About a month ago, I was watching the awesome new HD channel on satellite called MGMHD, and they started playing the Cannon Films classic from 1981, "Enter the Ninja". I had a blast watching that movie, because at the time it came out I was about 8 years old and I didn't see it till a few years later, and by that time the 80's Ninja craze was at an all time high. Now these movies were never any good as far as deep cinema goes, but as a kid I wanted to be a ninja because of these movies. How could you not want to put on the black outfit and take out dudes with stars, swords, blow darts, and other assorted weapons. I even went over to an older kid's house one time where he had built a Ninja fort which had weapons and a throwing star range. He even showed us some secret ninja magazines that were not available in the states where you could purchase secret Ninja weapons from Japan. Suffice to say I did not become Ninja, I did however take Tae Kwon-Do in college and got a belt or two. But the one thing I always dug no matter how bad they were were the 80's Ninja movies. So this will be a 3-part retrospective of those movies I thought were cool back in the day.



This retrospective will not cover any Asian made ninja movies, that is a whole other ball of wax. This will cover just the American made ninja movies. Part 1 covers the original Cannon Films trilogy starring Sho Kosugi that began with Enter the Ninja, Revenge of the Ninja, and Ninja III:The Domination. Part 2 will cover Cannon's American Ninja films 1-4. (We don't count part 5..more on that later) Part 3 will be an assortment of Ninja films, like Rage of Honor, Pray for Death, The Octagon, and 9 Deaths of the Ninja. So let's throw some smoke bombs and do this.



ENTER THE NINJA (1981)

This is the first Ninja movie I probably ever layed eyes on. And its sad to think that, because it really isn't the greatest ninja movie ever. As a kid it was a lot of fun. So this movie stars Italian actor Franco Nero from "Django". If you had seen "Django", a (spagetti western classic) before you saw this, you might not like this movie. I didn't so it didn't bother me at the time. Now that I've seen Django recently in fact, going back and seeing Nero in Ninja is odd. In "Django" Nero was a very slow moving loner, but could shoot fast when needed. In Enter he is a back flipping ninja with super human martial arts skill. So it's a bit of a leap of faith. (no pun intended) This films starts with Nero as the white Ninja being chased in Japan by a bunch of red Ninja and a evil black Ninja played by the legendary Sho Kosugi. Franco playing a Vietam vet is in his final test of becoming the first American ninja, even though he is Italian... stay with me. The black Ninja is upset because he thinks it is against tradition to let an ex-spagetti westerner to become a Ninja. The head Ninja in charge disagrees and allows him to become a Ninja. Nero packs his white suit up and heads to the Phillippines to chill with his land mogul Nam buddy who happens to have a hot wife played by Susan George. A crazy real estate gangster played by Christopher George tries to bully his buddy into giving him his land which sets in motion the conflict. Nero destroys about 80 of George's henchmen before the 50 minute mark.



George sends someone to Japan to find his own Ninja to fight Nero. They of course find Sho and he comes back for the final confrontation. Some of my favorite scenes include Nero's buddy telling him that he can't "get it up" anymore for his hot wife, Susan George. So instead of saying hey its all good man, just keep trying, Nero goes back to his best buddy's house and does his wife, so she won't have to suffer anymore. WOW! Great friends are hard to find. As expected the Nam buddy dies before the hands of the evil Ninja played by Sho Kosugi, but not before a Nam flashback reveals that he saved nero's life back in Nam, setting up a final battle in some sort of elaborate cock fighting ring. And this is another of my favorite scenes here as Christopher George who demolishes all scenery in his award winning performance as the bad guy. I mean this has to be the worst acting I have ever seen...



At then end Nero wins and all is right with the world as expected with a Django Ninja in the Phillippines. Now the fighting scenes are what people payed money to see these things at the time. There are some cool Ninja fighting scenes, by 80's fighting standards I suppose, but those mostly are the ones involving Sho Kosugi. Nero was in fact in no shape to be a Ninja. So his fighting scenes were all doubled by fight choreographer Mike Stone. The film is directed Menahem Golan who was half of the Golan/Globus producing giant, Cannon Films. His direction here is sub-par at best. He just kind of sets the camera down and waits for shit to go down. Very little energy.

On my Ninja scale I give this 2 throwing stars and half a blow dart. Enter the Ninja is not on DVD, so if you see it on VHS somewhere, grab it, it might go for something on ebay. Enjoy one more Christopher George performances please...



REVENGE OF THE NINJA (1983)



In this follow-up to Enter the Ninja, we go a new route and find Sho Kosugi playing a different character this time around in Japan protecting his family by deadly Ninja's. While Sho is chatting with his buddy Dave, a group of Ninjas show up and kill his entire family except his baby boy. Dave tells Sho that he must go to America to get away from the Ninja insanity that is his life to protect his son from any future Ninja attacks. So he does of course. Because all Ninjas must eventually live in L.A. and open some sort of store that will get robbed. Now Sho teaches his son, played by his real life kiddo the art of the Ninja but not to practice it on people, only honor the tradition. WHATEVER! This little dude can ball! He kicks four little kid's asses then beats the shit out of his Dad's big breasted girlfriend. In fact this actress continues the tradition of bad Ninja acting... Oh it hurts me!



This movie still suffers from stiff direction although new director Sam Firstenberg has a better feel for the action this time out. Being his first feature he has some nice sequences here with Sho taking the baddies downtown and back again. There are some decent fight scenes and a cool van chase. There are stars to the head, more exploding smoke balls, and by far the best scene in the film, torture by by hot tub jets. Classic. Sho fights his friend Dave, who of course happens to be a Ninja and has been shipping heroin in Sho's Japanese antique dolls. This is just a thought, but if you were a Ninja and you had a best friend, wouldn't you know he was a Ninja too? The final battle takes place on top of a roof in LA on a Tennis court... Yes a Tennis court. Is there a deep meaning here? No, it's just a Tennis court.



Sho is good here. His acting is horrible, but so is everyones. What set's this movie apart from the others, is Sho and his skills as the Ninja. Much more believable than Franco Nero in the original. I give this one 3 throwing stars and dirt with leaves to the face. Revenge of the Ninja is available on dvd so you can netflix that bitch or buy it on the cheap HERE.

NINJA III:THE DOMINATION (1984)



"No thanks I don't use soft drinks." This classic line of dialog is just one of so many in my favorite titled film in the Cannon Ninja trilogy. I couldn't find this one anywhere around town, and let me tell you i think I would rather ask for the porn, Manhammer than Ninja III:The Domination again at the video store. I had to search deep into the web to find a copy of this one. But alas I have it! The Domination!!! Ninja III has nothing to do with the other two as far as I can tell. But let me tell you something, you have NEVER seen a Ninja film like this. This film is FAR out there. I'll try my best to sum it up...

Lucinda Dickey, star of director Firstenberg's "Breakin' 2: Electric Bugaloo" stars as Christie a telephone pole repair person that finds a Ninja that has just survived about 10,000 bullet hits from the police and is possesed by the dying Ninja's spirit. Yes this ninja is supernatural people. So now we got ourselves a female Ninja. Well she keeps the sword and reports the dead Ninja to the cops. This is where we get this stirring scene of drama...



Soon she discovers her ass kicking skills by fending off goons outside a gym. She then falls in love with one of the cops that killed her previous Ninja self. As the killings around the city mount, Sho Kosugi is called in to kick bitchy ninja ass. This time he does not play himself from Enter or Revenge but a new character named, Yamada who wears a strange eye patch. Christie lives in a VERY 80's art deco place and even has her own arcade game inside. One night after screwing the cop, a glowing sword floats out of the closet on two strings. The next night the arcade game comes on and she is possessed again by the spirit of the Ninja only this time its "Tron" style...check this out!



Next she goes out and kills some more cops responsible for the death of her Ninja spirit. Now if getting possessed by a video game isn't enough fun for you it gets even awesomer. She goes to some S&M dungeon where James Hong (Blade Runner and Lopan from Big Trouble in Little China) tries to perform an exorcism on her. So now we have a female video game possesed exorcism crazed ninja non-soft drink using beotch. But fear not, Sho is on the way.

I did learn some things about a Ninja's skill level in this film. First, when doing a standing back flip over a ten foot high chain length fence it is necessary to remove your leather jacket before doing so. Second, If you are a Ninja attending the funeral of a cop that you killed it is good to hide in the trees and assassinate as many other cops as you can using your bow and arrow while they all fall into the same grave. Good use of surrounding resources. When fighting Sho Kosugi you might want to mention you starred in Breakin' 2: Electric Bugaloo. Who knows, he could be a fan.



Christie and Sho battle in a Shaolin Monk temple in the end and she turns into a Zombie Ninja and then turns the monks into an army of living dead kung-fu fighters against the mighty Sho. As silly as this movie is, it really is entertaining from all the horrendous 80's cliches of headbands, aerobic leggings, and bad synth scores it's too much fun to not recomend. Director Sam Firstenberg has a better feel for the action this time around. Sure it's ludricras from start to finish, but who gives a crap it's a Ninja movie!The only way this movie could have gotten four throwing stars is if during the final battle Sho told Christie that the Ninja spirit inside her was in fact Sho's gay lover. Now that's an ending. You can't get this movie anywhere unless you find it on an old VHS from '85. On ebay it was going for upwards of 80 bucks!



This is the end of part 1 covering the Cannon Ninja trilogy. There are reports of a new Ninja movie that will be called "Return of the Ninja" with Sho returning to his most famous part. But nothing new has been on that front for years it seems. Keep your fingers crossed! Look for Part 2 of the Ninja Retro soon!